The Fear of Rejection

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I admit I’m sensitive. I get my feelings hurt very easily. So why put myself through the torture of rejection?

The fear of rejection was the hardest thing to overcome after I wrote my first book. When you write, you’re alone in your own little world, happily writing your story. The next step was the scary part—getting it out there. From what I read, you needed an agent to get published and be successful.

Agents are very good at rejection. They have all different ways of saying your book is not for them. They also suggest that someone else may like it even if it’s not right for them. My first rejection letter came in the mail. I read it over and over, letting it sink in. It took a few days to get over but I realized if I was going to get published, I had to take the rejection.

I needed to develop my own personal plan to get over this fear. I had to become my own life coach. I knew I needed pep talks and I was the only one who could do it. I began a list in my head of what had to be done.

The first thing I had to do was not care so much. This wasn’t personal. It’s a business. Don’t take it to heart.

I became my own cheerleader. I assured myself it was okay and I’d live to see another day.

I had to accept the rejection. Most came by e-mail and I saved them all. When one came along, I added it to a folder marked “Queries”.  Read them and move on.

There’s a great song out now from the Disney movie, Frozen. Its title, Let it Go, says it all. Don’t dwell on the rejection.

Imagine my surprise when I finally got an offer to publish my book! I had to read it over carefully because I was so used to skimming the contents for the rejection. If I had given into my fear, I wouldn’t be here now, telling you about my third book in my series, Stealing Time.

I recently read a story about a young girl who went to her mother and asked, “Why bother trying anymore?” The mother went to the kitchen and filled three pots with water. She placed an apple in one, an egg in another and finally tea into the last, bringing them to a boil. The girl didn’t understand why her mom did that. Her mother said it taught something about facing challenging times. The daughter shook her head, confused. The mother explained. The apple went into the water hard and came out soft and spongy. The egg was hard and firm. However, the tea transformed the water into something good, healing and beneficial.

The mother then asked the daughter what she would do when she was faced with the trials of life. Would she be similar to the apple and fall apart? Or grow hard like the egg? Or perhaps, like the tea, turn your trials into triumph, something of value.

The story can be applied to all our obstacles in life. Which would you choose? I’ve always been a tea lover myself.

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